What You May Not Know About Pregnancy/Postpartum - The Least Talked About Parts

Lauren Catron
Feb 26, 2021
8 min read

We all know about the fun, glamorous side of pregnancy - the shiny thick hair, that pregnancy "glow," baby kicks, the baby showers, and having people wait on you hand and foot. But what about the ugly side of pregnancy? The TMI, push it under the rug, true sides of pregnancy. The downright literal pains in our asses?

I posed a question on my Instagram account asking, "what parts of pregnancy are the least talked about?" Here are some of the answers I got.

(I tried to research as much as I could to share with you some insight into these things...)

Constipation

I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Pregnant women get constipated. Yes, it's super embarrassing to talk about, but moms, if we don't share our wealth of knowledge with other moms-to-be, how will they know what to expect/how to be prepared?

Here's what I've learned:

Hormones are to blame for this one. According to What to Expect, progesterone causes the muscles in your bowels to relax, allowing food to hang around longer in the digestive tract. The upside is there's added time for nutrients to be absorbed into your bloodstream and reach your baby. The downside is you end up with a traffic jam.

Another cause can be nausea medication. Sometimes the side effects are worse than the actual ailment.

And don't think once that baby is here you are smooth sailing - oh no. The bowel movement after birth is one of the scariest things - maybe more so than the actual birth. Be prepared. Have stool softeners on hand (ask your doctor first!) And just be prepared. I promise, you will eventually poop.

Phew, now that we got that out of the way...

Hemorrhoids

When you think of hemorrhoids, you may think of a 90-year-old man and not some beautiful 30-some-year-old pregnant woman, right? But guess whaatttt???

Apparently, hemorrhoids are fairly common and often appear during the third trimester. Hemorrhoids are varicose (swollen) veins of the rectum, and are usually painful, according to AmericanPregnancy.org. They are related to constipation, of course, along with increased pressure on the rectum and perineum. The best way to avoid hemorrhoids is to stay regular and avoid sitting for long periods of time.

Your lifesaver for this one? Tucks Medicated Pads! You'll also want to have some of these on hand in your after-birth care kit.

Lack of Sex Drive

I'm in an "August 2021 Due Date Babies" Facebook group and I always see moms posting about how their libido has increased like crazy. The reasoning might be because of the increase in blood flow to the pelvic region. However, most moms I know experience the opposite effect. I mean, who wants to have sex when you are bloated, nauseous and 20-plus pounds heavier than normal? Sounds sexy to me. NOT.

Props to you if you do see an increase, but don't feel ashamed if you don't feel like getting frisky for many, many months.

This might be the reason this next one came in from one of my dad friends. (Kidding, slightly).

The Longest 9 Months Ever (for mom and dad!)

Being pregnant feels like the longest 9 months of your life. The first trimester all you feel like is that you ate too many tacos and have the longest bout of stomach flu ever to exist. You don't look pregnant; you can't feel any baby kicks; and you may downright feel miserable. Plus, most people don't even know you're pregnant! The second trimester is known as the "golden" stage, where you feel baby kicks, you finally look pregnant and you may finally feel better. If pregnancy could just be the second trimester, maybe more women would continue to have more kids. The third trimester feels like it's 9 months. You are big and swollen and likely very uncomfortable. You're exhausted but you can't sleep because of pregnancy insomnia or you are up peeing every other hour.

And all this time you worry - is baby doing ok? Is he or she growing like they should? Will my delivery go as planned? Will everyone be healthy? You are anxious and excited for what is coming and it feels like it takes forever to get here. And then you'll get comments like, "oh isn't it just going by so quickly?" No, Karen. It's not. I feel like a giant elephant who has been pregnant forever.

In all fairness, at least we aren't elephants who are pregnant for like two years straight. Can you imagine!?

Losing Your Mucus Plug

Ah, the mucus plug. Sounds absolutely disgusting right? It's quite wonderful in the fact it helps protect your baby from the outside world. Here, let me explain. The mucus plug is created once fertilization of an egg occurs. According to VeryWellFamily.com, the mucus seals the cervix, protecting the baby from infection.

Eventually as your body starts to prepare for labor and your cervix starts to dilate, you may experience some discharge, or the plug may come out all at once. Do not be alarmed. This means that labor is nearing, and you soon will be meeting that sweet new baby! Just maybe be prepared with some panty liners or an extra pair of underwear.

Speaking of having an extra pair of underwear on hand....

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction

This usually happens after you give birth, but you might experience some during that third trimester. This is one of the major physical changes you will notice and it's something that people joke about all the time. Does your poor mother cross her legs every time she sneezes? This is why...

The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that support your abdominal muscles. According to an article on Self.com, the muscles work as a hammock to brace organs such as the uterus, bladder and rectum. When you are pregnant, these muscles loosen thanks to the hormone relaxin, allowing your baby to come through the birth canal. The pressure of your baby can also cause these muscles to lose their elasticity.

According to the Self article, all of this can lead to issues such as urinary or fecal incontinence, urinary or fecal retention and even pain during sex. While the article states that having a C-section may significantly lower your risk of pelvic floor disorders, I'm here to tell you that's not true. I even talk about how during my first trimester I used to pee pants whenever I threw up. The lack of control is real y' all. Kegels are your friend.

Diastasis Recti

While I was researching this problem, the first thing that popped up in Google literally says, "The Postpartum Body Problem No One Talks About." In that article I discovered that diastasis recti is "a gap in between your right and left abdominal wall muscles that can result in a rounded, protruding belly." It is the reason behind the "mom pooch," (I hate that terminology, BTW).

The article goes on to explain how it happens - "connective tissue called the linea alba thins out in response to a mother's change in hormone levels in order to accommodate the enlarging uterus. This is one important way that a mother's body changes to allow a baby to grow in utero," says Kevin Brenner, M.D., F.A.C.S., a board certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon based in Beverly Hills. Typically, after birth your hormone levels return but similar to your pelvic floor, those muscles can lose their elasticity.

Your chances of developing diastasis recti are more likely if you are petite, carrying multiples, have had more than one pregnancy, or become pregnant later in life. So really, your chances are pretty high. There are various exercises you can try to help prevent diastasis recti, along with various ways to "roll" out of bed, all according to the article. There are also postpartum exercises you can do to help strengthen and treat your abdominal muscles. In severe cases, surgery such as a tummy tuck may be the only way to treat the issue.

Lack of that Instant Bond with Baby

As I have mentioned in previous posts, one of my favorite podcasts is Katie's Crib with Katie Lowes. I love how real she is about motherhood and doesn't hold anything back. One thing she talks about often is her lack of that instant bond with her baby after he was born. While I did not experience this myself, it is very common for new moms to feel like this way. And there's no shame in it!! Did you love your partner the first time you met them? Likely not. It takes time, and of course you will eventually come to live, breathe, and die for your child.

I highly recommend you listen to Katie's Crib, the March 25, 2019 episode called "Finding Your Inner Mama Bear w/ Whitney Port." Katie and Whitney discuss having trouble connecting to their babies when they were first born and discovering their identities as moms.

And please remember, you are not a bad mom for feeling this way!!!

What Really Happens After Birth - The Hormones, The Scared, Tired, Alone Feelings of Motherhood

This one I feel could get a blog post all its own. Everyone always talks about the new life of a baby, but rarely do people realize the birth of a new person as well - a new mom. Being a new mom is hard. You are exhausted. Like truly, truly exhausted. There's no explaining it unless you've been there. Your hormones are raging - you're hot and sweaty, you're cranky, you're still swollen, tired and you cry. A lot. I distinctly remember one night I was up nursing Henry when he was just a few weeks old, and literally having the thought, "I've never been so lonely." I had wonderful support from my husband, my mom and my mother-in-law, but nothing could help those feelings. I often wonder if I had postpartum anxiety. (More to come on that later). Or if it was just baby blues. It's hard to tell the difference really. But if you are feeling this way, I highly encourage you to reach out to someone. Whether it's a trusted friend, your partner or maybe a therapist, I promise you will feel much better about it. And if you don't feel comfortable reaching out to someone, you can always, always reach out to me. And if by chance you have to be put on some medication to help ease the symptoms, there's no shame in that either!!

Mom Guilt

This too could come with its own blog post. Mom Guilt is real, and never truly goes away. It doesn't matter what it is, in some form or another you will have mom guilt. Did you deliver vaginally versus having a C-section? Breastfeeding versus formula? Going back to work versus staying home. It's all tough and there's no right or wrong answer. Go with your gut and know that you are doing what is best for you, your baby and your family. There is no cure for mom guilt; you'll likely feel it for some reason or another your entire life. Just know you are doing an amazing job mama, never doubt yourself! 💗

But wait.. there's more...

I know I can't possibly cover every little thing that makes up pregnancy and postpartum, But a great podcast to listen to about everything postpartum is the Pregnancy Podcast, the Birth Recovery and Postpartum episode. They cover everything from tearing and healing, swelling, bleeding after a C-section, hair loss, night sweats and even the change of your foot size!

Can you think of anything else that comes with pregnancy that no one really talks about? Feel free to leave them in the comments below 0r message me on Instagram!

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog! I hope you've all learned a little something and may even feel inclined to share this with one of your mom friends!

Enjoy!

Lauren

XOXO

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